Shameless

I forgot I had a blog until I recently read a blog from another church-going Mom. One of these days I will have time to sit and do this weekly. Until then, I'll do what I can. :)

It is amazing to me how many people will come up to me and say, "You have everything so together." My first response is, "Nuh-uh!" I do not. People think that because you are not outwardly struggling, that your life must be perfect. People think if you are a certain size, have nice hair and skin, have a husband who acts like he likes you, and have children who pretend to listen to you in public, you must be the queen of all mothers/wives/etc.

Well, it's just not true. I don't broadcast our troubles, not because I am ashamed of them, but because God tells me to meditate on what is pure, right, lovely, admirable, noble, trustworthy, excellent, and praiseworthy; to think on THESE things. He doesn't say to walk around talking about the negative details of our family life. Telling everyone the BAD things that happen in our family doesn't glorify God unless we tell everyone about the GOOD things that happen.

That being said, I think if I had to use a quote from this other Mom's blog, it would be this; "I am shameless." I think she and I use it for the same reason, although she doesn't articulate it, I think it order to keep from turning people off. I don't mind telling you what is wrong with me as long as you then allow me to share what is RIGHT with me, and that is my faith in Christ; my unwavering belief that there is grace to cover even me.

Let me tell you why I'm shameless. 2 Corinthians 7:10 "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret [shame], but worldly sorrow brings death." My Savior has washed me of regret and shame, and now I can proudly proclaim that the person that I was is no longer, and that the person that I choose to be may have a long way to go to get there, but the God of all gods is walking with me the entire way.

I still act like an idiot. I sometimes call my husband by a 'pet name' that is anything but Godly, and believe me when I tell you that my husband doesn't think I'm a lady when I use that name. I sometimes yell at my children, or make angry faces at them. I sometimes wish I could put them in school and get a 'real' job so my life would be easier. I still say inappropriate things at inappropriate times and have to go back later and apologize. Does knowing that stuff about me make you feel better about your own 'pet' sins? I certainly hope not. Knowing that someone else struggles in sin shouldn't make you feel like it's okay that you struggle in those same sins. It should give you encouragement to KEEP WORKING ON NOT DOING THAT PARTICULAR SIN; not excuse the sin as 'something everyone does.'

What we have to learn to do is love those around us in SPITE of themselves. That is true Grace in action. When your spouse says something in a moment of anger or frustration, you can choose to forgive whether they ever apologize or not; or you can hold a grudge and be a miserable person. When I fail, I can wallow in grief over my sin, or I can allow the mercy of Jesus Christ to wash over my spirit and pick me up again.

Jesus Himself said it best in Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Jesus loves me in spite of myself. My job is to be like Him, as much as I can, as often as I can. It starts and ends with Love.

DNA

I've had several people ask my why I haven't blogged very often or in so long. I'm busy. That's the simplest answer. I homeschool 7-1130, eat lunch 1130-1230, teach piano 1230-430, then there's soccer or church or babysitting or porch nights with friends. At some point I have to shower during the day, so the last thing on my list of things to do is to sit and write, which is actually shameful because I like to. So, I am 'borrowing' something from my Dad this go-round, to make things faster and hopefully it will entertain the millions of people who read this blog. :D

People often ask me what ethnicity I have running through my veins. At least 10 people in my life have told me that I and my daughter Caylea look 'exotic,' which makes me think of exotic plants, which makes me think of those big Venus fly-traps that have been known to eat people. I don't know why my brain goes that route, but that's free association, Tori style.

I've always called myself a mutt, but my Dad recently had his DNA tested just to see which end was up, and here are the results. I must admit that I am not altogether surprised. Italians think I'm Italian. Spanish people think I'm Spanish, Indians think I'm Indian, and I'd be the first one to help a hurt person on the side of the road (Samaritan). :)

If you add Joe's Korean into this mix, his Dad's Tennessee true-blue blood (which is slang for American mutt as well), and whatever my Mom is, which is likely more Irish than anything; then you can only imagine that my children are truly the muttiest mutts of the millennium. :) (I really hope N.Pace read that one. I did that just for her.)

Hey everyone,
We just got the DNA back and it isn’t what I expected! They said they could not rule out (with this test)that we might have a little American Indian, but if we do it is too small an amount to show up. My Y DNA which is dad’s, dad’s, etc comes back to the North Africa-Middle east. My whole DNA, which doesn’t tell what part is what, shows me to be 37% Druze/Iranian. That is right where dad’s DNA pointed. (Some think the Druze are from the Samaritans). So we might have Jewish blood since over 120,000 Druze still live in Israel. The rest of me 63% (Margin of error 14%)Orcadian/Tuscan. Tuscan is the part of Italy where we just spent part of the summer. Orcadian is part of the English-Scottish-Ireland Island area. So eat some pizza, pull on your kilt, and have a jihad with yourselfJ
God bless you all!

Viva Italia!

I think the last time I wrote in this blog was some time back in March. Things have been hopping since then! The kids completed their academic testing, which is always a blast. They say things like, "Can we do this every day? This is so easy!" I hope that translates well on the tests. Otherwise, their teacher may get fired. :)

In early May, I hosted my second piano recital at Burg Lichtenberg. It was fabulous, as usual, and a completely different feel from the last 'winter-wonderland' recital that we had. Everyone messed up, which is just how I like it. I played 3 songs this time, because I didn't play at the last recital and some parents heckled me for it. I just didn't want to seem to be showing off. This time, I chose songs that I love to play, even though I rarely sit and play for hours like I used to, and during one song, two of my precious little girls (7 years old) stood behind me and turned pages for me. We stayed for dinner and overfilled the back room, but there were hardly any messed-up orders and everyone raved about the food. It is one of our favorite restaurants in Germany!

Our second favorite is a restaurant called Poisiedon (sp?) up in Idar-Oberstein. The Lovells introduced us to it and when we eat there, we wear loose-fitting clothing. :) Speaking of the Lovells, they and my parents joined us on a trip to Italy from 17 May-26 May. We drove through Garmisch to get there and through Switzerland to get home. We stayed in a villa outside of Florence, saw "David," Cinque Terre, and Rome to include the Vatican and "Pieta." (I'm sure I've mentioned what a Michelangelo fan that I have become since reading "The Agony and the Ecstasy," but it's a really, really big book; so if you want the synopsis, email me and I'll give it to you in a paragraph.) Joshua was NOT a fan of the museum. He genuinely hates naked statues. I don't blame him, but I really wanted to see what is considered M's greatest work, and one of the most famous sculptures in the world. I had no idea it was 14 feet tall! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_(Michelangelo)

We ate so much great Italian food, wore beautiful dresses, swam in a freezing pool, laid in the grass with a really old, coughing dog that became Josh's best friend, played games, and did not have a tv at all. We did have music, though, and it was a very relaxing week. It just went by too quickly. One of these days we'll take a vacation where we don't feel like we have to see everything and do everything; where we can just sit and look at the mountains and stars and be content. I think that vacation will be our next one. If I had to recommend anything, I'd say for sure to take the bus tour in Rome. However, get on the bus that has a roof, just in case it rains, which it did while we were on the bus, which we thought was funny for the first 10 minutes, and then we were completely drenched down to our scivvies (is that a word? My computer doesn't like it.) and the kids were cold, and I was cold, and people were pointing at us, and I started singing, "Thunder bolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning" because it was lightning over our heads....get the picture? That'll be the memory of the trip, right there. Well, that and the wine bottle that I dropped in the middle of the store. Fumble-fingers! :)

My Dad just had some blood-work done to determine his genetic roots. We've always thought we were part Cherokee, and that has yet to be officially determined, but what did show up was "North African, Mediterranean, Greek, Italian," and he did blend in well. My Mom got slobbered on by baby Jack. I'll admit it. We all got slobbered on by baby Jack, but he does it with such flair, you can't help but laugh, which encourages him all the more. He's in his licking stage, and then everything is made funnier if you say 'poo' with it. "Jack, do you want to eat a snack?" "Yes, I want a POO snack!" I have to admit that we did laugh. It's what we do, though. We laugh at inappropriate things. He'll outgrow it eventually, right? There's no real need to rush things.

The girls had a blast swimming in the pool, and Josh dove and dove and dove for the dive-toys. They had tea parties with mud, and there was, apparently, a dead rat in the pool filter for a few days. That was lovely. It only rained 1 afternoon, if my memory serves correctly. Well, in Londa, which is where we stayed. It rained in Rome, for sure. lol

I studied Italian for a while to just get the hang of how it would sound in my ears. I could understand it quite easily, being so similar to Spanish, but I couldn't speak it. It was incredibly frustrating to me to not be able to communicate without resorting to hand gestures. The Germans call it "Hand und Fuss Sprechen," which means "hand and feet talk," and that's what I did a lot of. When we finally crossed the German border and Joe had a question, I spoke German so fluently and felt so great about it! It was nice to be back in familiar territory. We crossed through Switzerland on the way home, and I can honestly say that I've never seen more beautiful lakes than we saw driving through that country, and they are the kings of tunnels. We drove through a 10 mile tunnel!!! There was no holding of the breath through that one, but we did come up with 20 different 'trapped' scenarios, which made Chloe start feeling claustrophobic, so we quit. If you want to see the rest of the Italy pictures, which take forever to upload to this blog, go to our family Facebook page... ToJoCayChloJo Ingram

We listened to tons of Beatles music, and now my kids are avid Beatles fans. Maxwell's Silver Hammer is sung nearly every day, and Joshua sings it beautifully. I think he may be the real star of the family, but no one will ever know it because he's just too shy and quiet to let loose in front of anyone but me. Even Joe hasn't heard him singing at the top of his lungs, and when I hear him, it's because he doesn't know I'm standing around the corner listening. Justin Bieber has nothing on my boy, but the world may never know it... :)

We arrived home just in time to fix my Mom a t-bone steak and put them on the plane. I don't envy them that plane trip. They say that going from East to West is easier than from West to East, which I did find to be true, but easier doesn't mean easy by any means. It's still a rotten thing to experience jet-lag! We celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary by taking the kids with us to see "Thor," which I would recommend. It had one kiss, the only thing close to nudity was when he took his shirt off, and there was only 1 profanity that I was the only one to hear. My kids didn't notice it, which is unusual. They're normally the first ones to say, "Was that necessary?!?" We ate a lot of popcorn and came home to play in the yard, eat Italian ice cream from the truck, and stay up way too late. It is spring/summer here, so the sun is up until almost 10 and peeks out from the mountains (okay, hills) around 5am. I finished report cards yesterday and now I'm waiting on next year's school books to get here so I can lesson plan. It'll be an early start since we're likely moving in April 2012, so I want to be done by March 30th. We've moved with school before. It makes for heavy bags and we think we can just push through and be done, leaving us free to move freely.

Joe's job is still the same, and we've got the itch to move. This is the longest we've ever been in one place. I told my Mom when we drove up, "After 3 years, it still doesn't feel like I'm pulling up to HOME, you know?" I don't know why, but my roots haven't planted here. Don't get me wrong....Germany is gorgeous and I'm so glad we've had this opportunity. I count my blessings daily. I just think we're ready to be elsewhere. I don't miss Walmart. I think I may have said that I did miss it when we first moved here, but the simple life here has cured me, and I doubt very seriously that you'll ever see me or my children in a "People of Walmart" video. We don't "need" nearly as much as we thought we did, but we live an abundantly blessed life. God is so good, all of the time!

Spring and new seasons

As my wonderful husband turns 40 and my oldest 'child' turns 15, I have had a chance to just slow down and think a few things through. We live such an amazing life! It is easy to get focused in on the day-to-day drudgery and forget how beautiful a family can be, and I praise God for the reminders that He gives me that we are so blessed!

Even after the toddler years, when you're striving to be the kind of wife and mother God outlines in Scripture, you find that you don't have tons of time to yourself. "Girl time" becomes a distant dream and you settle down into the trenches. The toddler years are hard, but nothing swift, firm, loving discipline can't handle. The preteen years are tough, and require lots of heart training for mom and kids. There is no greater mirror of yourself than how your children treat each other. God really had me change ME first, and then my kids started coming around. When they get older, there are even more things to discuss 'as you walk, as you sit, and as you eat.' (Deuteronomy)

It's never over! There hasn't been a day yet, and mine are 10, 12, and 15 (nearly) that I've thought, "Okay, NOW I can relax." No, just the opposite. I feel even more strongly that they need me more than ever. That's not to say we don't have the occasional date night, but I don't generally go out with the girls. Family is first and they need to not only hear me say it, but see me walk it. When my kids see that I turned down a movie out with the girls to stay home cuddled on the couch with them and their Dad, the know where my heart resides and it makes them feel loved.

I know that respite is coming. When my children leave the home and I have a few years before grandbabies start rolling in, I'll recharge, and then I'll be the best Gran-T ever. :) Right now, though, and for the next 10 years (or so), my job is here, now, molding and shaping hearts, including my own. When I need a temporary recharging, I find it right inside myself, because that is where the Spirit of God lives. When I cry out for wisdom and mercy, I always feel refreshed. Sometimes we forget to just ask, but He is able to do abundantly more than we can dream up if we only ask! When I am low, He sends Chloe with her latest joke and that girl is hysterical! When I am tired, Caylea says, "Mom, I want to try a new hairstyle on you. Can I play with your hair?" Then she plays with my hair for a good hour. When I am missing Joe (when he is gone for any length), my son randomly comes up, hugs me, and says, "Mommy, I love you." God is all over every single one of those circumstances and my job is to receive that refreshing in that form. When I learned to receive it in a way that wasn't necessarily conventional (i.e., massage, facial, time away), I became a more spiritually joyful woman and it affected my entire family.

I encourage you, encourage you, encourage you, to do the same! Minister to your family first, others second. Best of all, be joyful!

Knees, please

AH HA! So, it's not torn badly enough to require surgery, which makes me very thankful. I've been told to take it easy (ha ha ha) and wear a brace if I run, and to try not to tear it any more. If I knew how I had done the damage in the first place, that advice may have come in handy. However, since I have no idea which of my many accidents caused the damage, perhaps I should just stick to the brace. :)

Spring Break!

We celebrated our spring break early, simply because it's not yet spring in Germany, but my parents came to visit. We took them to Luxembourg, Belgium, (where everything was closed and we had no waffles), rock climbing, race-car-driving (IF I HAVE TO HEAR 'MUSTANG' ONE MORE TIME....!!!!), and thrift-store shopping; not to mention the super lunch at Burg Lichtenberg. It was an amazing, quick, fun-filled, relaxing vacation. Caylea finally beat PaKenny at Chess, although there is some debate about the help she received. Joshua made it out of the PaKenny "Boring Family" attack with fewer bruises than I anticipated, and the massages we sent the grandparents to get had them completely melted. I know they had a good time and I hope we get to spoil them like that more often!
I get to go find out if I need knee surgery today. It isn't one of those things you like to advertise, but there it is, and since I only managed to run 1/2 mile this morning before the give-out, I figured I'd ask all of you faithful readers of this silly blog to pray for this 35 year old knee that acts 65. :) I probably shouldn't have treated it so badly when I was growing up, but when you're young, you're invincible! Speaking of invincible, Caylea's newest song, Through the Rain, is now available for purchase on iTunes. How cool is that? I wish I could market Chloe's humor or Josh's Lego-building abilities the same way we market her music. It makes us seem biased, but we dote on the other two as well.
I'm anxiously awaiting my "Wife of the Year" award for purchasing the mustang, for letting Joey take the mustang and my Dad to the race track and drive it at 150+ miles per hour, for only minimally sighing and griping about his other 'love,' not to mention keeping the laundry done. I was reading my blog, and I haven't mentioned my utter loathing of laundry in quite some time, so there it is. I still despise it. Seriously. I told my Mom that if there was one thing I'd pay someone else to do in my rich-world-fantasy, it would be laundry. It is never-ending, much like my whining about it. Alas, that much laundry means that much family, means that much more love, so I can't complain too much. I guess I'll stick to whistling while I work.
Speaking of funny noises (whistling), I went to sit down last night and Chloe very quickly threw her whoopie-cushion underneath me. That was funny, I have to admit. I laughed for a while...

Breakfast!

I wish I had a hidden camera in my kitchen. Most of the time I eat with the kids for breakfast, or I'll finish eating and clean dishes while they finish; but today I'm down here, catching up on banking, etc., and they are eating. I let them sleep in today. We've been fighting a roaming cold...it roams from one of us to the next...and you can tell they all got their fill of rest. Chloe is the loudest. You will hear her voice, followed by cackles and peals of laughter from Caylea and Josh. Josh laughs the loudest. (He who laughs the loudest laughs last? How does that saying go?) Anyway, the fact that she can entertain them is pretty amazing, but it also hysterical to me that she often goes just one step too far, to the point that there is dead silence and then inevitably either Caylea, usually, or Josh will say, "That wasn't funny." At that point, Chloe will laugh one of her hysterically evil "mad scientist" laughs and the laughter will resound throughout the house again. You just can't help it. Her face is like that of Will Ferrell (sp?), who can make me laugh with just a face. (See "Buddy Elf," one of my favorite movies.)
Everyone knows we home school. Everyone knows we 'shelter' our children shamelessly. I want everyone to know that, by the grace of God, it's working beautifully. My kids aren't perfect, although I jokingly call them that all of the time, and they don't always get along, but I can honestly say that they are developing the kind of relationships with each other that will carry them through life. They are friends, and that makes my heart happy. I love that God made them so very different in personality, but that He also made them so willing to love one another. I'm pretty sure ice cream has a lot to do with it too... :)