Christmas 2009

I don't know about anyone else, but this year has just flown by for me. My kids have grown, literally, a foot or more between the three of them. Joe's job has kept him so busy, so topsy-turvy in schedule, that I rarely know which end is up. I have more piano students here in Germany than I've ever had anywhere in my life...26 to be exact...if you count my own 3. The problem with busy-ness is that it is time consuming. When I get super busy, I get super quiet, and that includes my "talk" time with God. I talk to Him throughout the day, so it's not a one-time "mandatory Quiet Time" that most churches teach. I try to "get quiet" with Him a few times a day so I can remain in His Spirit. Busy-ness does not help, but I know that He is there through all of it and I am at peace. When everything else goes wrong, I am at peace in Him. My children are at peace because their mother is at peace. Joe is at peace because his wife is at peace. I'm not saying that I'm the focal point of their peaceful existence, but what I am saying that being a wife and mother is much more than being a woman in a home, raising kids. I have seen my children's moods swing drastically, all because I have a good attitude...or a bad one. I have seen my husband grin from ear to ear because I'm exhibiting a small part of Christ through my attitude, and I have seen him completely deflated because I've ignored the prompting of the Spirit. No matter how busy you get, God is still there. He's still wanting that relationship with you. Believing in His Son is more than a religious "experience." It's more than believing and accepting that His Son did die on the cross and rise again in 3 days. It's about having a continual relationship with the tri-fold Spirit of God, listening to Him in everything that you do, and letting Him urge you to stop your sinful ways.

Several years ago, I asked Caylea, "What is one thing you like about Mommy?" She said, "I like how you always play with me." I said, "What is one thing you would change about Mommy?" She said, "I don't like it when you yell." She was 6 when she said that. I can't say that I've never yelled again, but I can say that I have, by the grace of God, stopped myself from doing it pretty frequently. That's because of my relationship with my Creator. He speaks, and when I ignore Him, everyone around me suffers. When I listen, everyone around me is blessed.

This Christmas we gave in a way that we've never given before and all 5 of us feel so blessed. We sang "Happy Birthday to Jesus," and not "Baby Jesus," but the grown Man who still lives! When you can sing to Him and know that He hears you, and FEEL that He hears you, that is when you are in a relationship with Him! No one can describe your relationship. No one experiences the exact same thing, which is also why you can't base your Christianity on experience alone. If mine doesn't match yours, that doesn't make mine right or yours right or either one of us wrong. What you experience with God is what He wants you to have through Him, and you can only find that by living IN Him. It goes so far beyond talking. Actions speak so much louder than words. If I can profess Christ with my mouth and then turn around and yell at my husband or children, it's like the Scripture that says, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be!" James 3:10

I'm not a "resolution" kind of girl, at least not one time a year. When Caylea told me she didn't like it when I yelled, I resolved to listen to God more and stop. When He revealed other sinful habits of mine to me through prayer and reading His Word, I listened and I have done my best to stop those things. I am walking WITH a perfect God. I am talking WITH Him as I go. I am laughing WITH Him and teaching my children to do the same. There is so much joy in this short life He has given us, so much to find, so much hidden and it is our glory to search it out!

So, I'm writing to myself. I'm writing to encourage myself to listen harder, be quiet more often, and walk in truth and not hypocrisy. I am going to surround myself with people of like minds, people who don't put walls up, people who are open, honest, and enjoying their walk with God, no matter how many times they stumble. I stumble, but I don't fall, because I walk WITH Him. Psalm 27:34 This is going to be the best walk of my life. :)