February 2021 and our "baby" turns 20

Valentine's Day is that holiday in between other important holidays, put there years ago in an effort to stimulate the economy.  I don't know if that's a fact, but it is definitely how I feel.  :)  Today is February 3, 2021, and, nearly 20 years ago, I was getting ready to give birth to our son.  His beginnings are quite the adventure, and if you don't like details, don't read this.  :D

The Sunday before Father's Day, June 12, 2000, we got a phone call from Joe's sister shortly after midnight that Joe's father, Wayne, had passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack.  He was only 50 years old. Joe began working on procuring airline tickets for the 4 of us (him, me, Caylea, and Chloe), and I went back to bed around 230, after packing, to get what little sleep I could.  We got up around 4 a.m. and hit the road with 2 very sleepy little girls (Caylea was 4 and Chloe was 1) and I just had to tell Joe about a dream I had had.  I was looking up and Wayne was standing there with Jesus (a "light" figure with no discernable facial features...I just knew it was Him).  Wayne was laughing and I said, "Why are you laughing?"  He said, "You're finally carrying my grandson," and then I had a progressive vision of our son at different points in his life, from birth to adulthood.  [What's funny about Wayne's statement is that I have him on video saying when he held Caylea and then Chloe for the first time, "She's beautiful, but she's not a grandson.  Don't have any more children.  One is enough."  Then, with Chloe, he said, "She's beautiful, but she's not a grandson.  Don't have any more children.  Two is enough."]

Joe and I sort of laughed about my dream because we weren't trying to have another child at that time.  Our "plan" was to wait until Chloe was 3-4 and then have 2 more children.  "Man makes plans and God laughs," is an old Yiddish proverb that closely resembles Proverbs 16:9 which says, " A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." We got on the plane from Texas to Tennessee and hit the ground running with Joe helping his mom choose a casket, plan the funeral, and help her with other things.  I told everyone about the dream because it was so real!  Our friend, Sheri, invited the girls and I over for a play date while Joe sorted through his Dad's garage. It was Father's Day and Joe just needed to be by himself to process. Upon telling Sheri about the dream, she said, "I have a pregnancy test.  You're pregnant."  I laughed and refused to take it because I just KNEW I wasn't pregnant, although I had thrown up that morning. I thought it was emotions/nerves.  By the end of the day, I was feeling very differently.  I realized I was 3 days late, but, again, I thought it was emotions/nerves.  I put the girls to bed around 8 p.m. while the rest of the family was in the living room, and I just left....something I NEVER do.  I went to the grocery store, bought a pregnancy test, came back to the house, ignored everyone who was talking to me and went straight to the bathroom.  By this time it was close to 9 p.m. and Joe was worried, so he kept knocking on the door.  I asked him to "Give me 3 minutes," and then I walked out of the bathroom, showed him the positive sign, and said, "Happy Father's Day.  His name is Joshua Wayne Ingram.  He has olive skin, brown hair, and eyes that change color like mine."  The whole family cheered, laughed, and poked fun at us for having another child so quickly.

Then the morning sickness hit.  I had pretty bad hyperemesis (all-day-vomitting for those of you who aren't familiar) with the girls, but with Josh it was so bad I was hospitalized 3 times.  I was SO SICK with that boy, and I remind him every year on his birthday that I went through a lot to keep him alive.  :D  When I was 18 weeks pregnant we went to have our ultrasound done.  Friends came with us.  The technician announced it was a boy and Joe and the friends cheered.  I was annoyed.  I said, "Why are you cheering?  I've been telling you this for months!"  

Josh tried to make his way into the world when I was 6 1/2 months pregnant (likely because I raced my nephew to the mailbox....and that is part of the reason I tell people not to run.)  I was hospitalized, given shots, and told he was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That wasn't true.  I serve a MIGHTY God, and as I laid there, cradling my son, I asked God to let him bake longer.  My labor "miraculously" stopped and I was sent home for bed rest.  That happened again 3 weeks later and, again, the power of the righteous is powerful and effective...and I happen to know some very powerful prayer warriors!  The labor stopped again and I was sent home for complete bed rest and medication to prevent future labor. 

Bed rest sounds fun, right?  No.  When you are only allowed to stand to go potty or shower 3 times a week, it is NOT fun at all.  And when your 4 yr old and 1 yr old daughters cry because "Mommy can't play outside," something I have ALWAYS done with my kids, it is pretty terrible.  But Josh needed more baking and the girls learned to love snuggle/reading/movie/nap time with Mommy in bed.

When I was 37 weeks pregnant, doctors determined that Josh was healthy enough to enter the world and took off my restrictions and medication.  I started walking like crazy and had ZERO movement.  This child who had made me so sick, tried introducing himself a couple of times too early, was now stubbornly hanging on.  A week later, 2 weeks before my original due date, I went into labor. It was February 13th around 11 p.m.  Joe was asleep, so I went in the living room and did what laboring women do.  I had natural childbirths with all 3 of my kids and intended to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital.  If the pregnancy hadn't been so difficult, I would've opted for a home birth.  Yup.  I'm crunchy granola like that.  :) Around 3 a.m. I woke Joe up to take me to the hospital because contractions were about a minute apart and making me pant pretty heavily.  Joe's mom stayed home with the girls while we went to the hospital.  I got to sit on a big bouncy ball for my labor.  That was pretty amazing.  Then, around 945 I asked my nurse (an older, very experienced nurse) why things weren't moving.  By my math, Josh should've been born around 5 a.m. I didn't feel "right," so they did a quick ultrasound and revealed that he was "sunny-side-up."  The doc told me that the nurse could try a maneuver, but if it didn't work, the doc would have to turn Josh manually.  That did NOT sound fun, so the nurse broke the bed down, had me turn over and as she shoved on Josh's side, I shoved on his head by pushing my stomach into the top of the bed.  It was awkward, but 2 shoves later Josh turned, my water broke, and he was born at 1020.

Okay, those of you who know me know my sense of humor is sometimes dark, pretty snarky, and not necessarily everyone's cup of tea.  Because I was laboring naturally and was at a teaching hospital, my doc asked permission for several students to come watch the birth.  I didn't mind, so 8 extra people lined up on the back wall, sworn to silence by the nurse, to watch me give birth to my son.  I was pushing when I realized how very intently they were watching, so when I was done with that push I looked at them and said, "BOO!"  They ALL jumped, including the doc, and I started laughing, which made them all laugh, which helped push Josh all the way out.  He was born in the midst of laughter. (Gosh, I just started crying when I typed that.  #memories)

Josh was very bruised when he was born because his face had been shoved against my pelvic bones for hours so, sorry if you're reading this son, but he was NOT the prettiest baby when he was born.  :D  When the bruising faded and his "looks" started coming out, he looked EXACTLY like my dream and I was so overwhelmed.  Even today I sometimes catch him a certain way and that dream comes right back to me.  I wish I was an artist.  I could've drawn him in an age-progression, but God used that dream to strengthen my Faith and I have shared it as often as possible. I rarely tell people that dream without getting emotional, and people who know me know that I'm not super comfortable with my emotional side.  ;)

Josh will be 20 in a few days.  He's intelligent, caring, sentimental, handsome, a hard worker, and he loves the Lord.  He's studying electrical engineering with minors in math and welding and he is excelling.  He has made connections through the Dean of Engineering, is the department's only welder, is on several teams, and is being given opportunities for internships because of his God-given abilities and his work ethic.  The Lord has really blessed Josh and I continually try to encourage him to use his Gifts for the glory of God and to help other people.  Love God, love people, to put Christ's words simply.  I am so thankful for my son, for the young man he is choosing to be, and as he leaves his teen years behind I pray fervently for his Faith and for him to grow in wisdom and knowledge; I pray for his future wife and children, and for his future career, that he would always enjoy his work.  I pray that he will always cling to and know the peace and joy that only God, through Christ, can give; and I pray that we will be the kind of parents that always have open arms and doors that our children genuinely want to come home to. I pray that God will bless him with the kind of blessings that only He can give, that Josh will know with every fiber of his being that God has a purpose and a plan for him, and that God loves him. And I pray that his wife will love the Lord above all else, be sweet-natured and gentle in spirit, will know how to cook, and have nice fingernails to scratch his back, all on Josh's very short wish-list for a wife.  :)

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.  Joe and the girls' birthdays are coming, so you can expect more of these in the future.  ;)