Jare-Bear

 If you read my last blog, you might recall a story of my nephew racing me to my mailbox when he was 4 and I was about 7 months pregnant with Joshua.   It started one of my pre-term labors, which was my fault, but Jared, even as an adult, always remembered "Aunt Tori raced me and had to go to the hospital."  He also remembers winning because he was 4 and needed a win, so I hobbled and wobbled and he won.  :)  

I called him Jare-Bear...probably because it rhymed and he always seemed to like the nickname.  He's stored as "Jare-Bear" in my phone. He was my only nephew, and he died February 3, 2021 in a motorcycle accident.  We last saw him in August at my niece, his sister's, wedding.  On his way out of town, he brought his wife, Morgan, and baby girl, Eva, to spend 1 night with us and his cousins.  We talked and talked, and we sat on the porch with guitars and voices and praised the Lord.  That is a memory that we and his cousins will always treasure.  Christina told me that Jared always had a pick in his pocket because, "You never know when you might need one," and today, as Jared is laid to rest, Morgan made sure he had a pick in his pocket.  He had a Gift from God with guitar and I know that music was a balm to his soul.  

Most people know me as "not a hugger," but the truth is that I love genuine hugs, and Jared was one of the best huggers I've ever known.  I will miss those hugs and I pray that Eva inherits that from him because I think God gifts some people with a supernatural hugging ability.

Most of you don't know the whole story of how Jared came into our family, so I'd like to share that in honor of his memory.

Ken met Christina at college after leaving the Army. She had a beautiful boy and Ken fell in love with her and that boy and brought them to visit us in Texas for Christmas of 2000, which is when we had "the race that bothered Josh."  :) 

Jared spent hours playing with various trucks...dump trucks, excavators, etc., and he made the most fantatic truck sounds because he watched these videos about all sorts of construction trucks.  There was one thing he just couldn't figure out, though, and that was the sound a helicopter made, so when he ran around flying his little helicopter in his hand, he would say, "Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter," which cracked us up!  On any family vacation we would always have walky-talkies between the vehicles in our caravan.  Inevitably someone (usually me) would say, "Hey Jared," and he'd say, "Yes ma'am," and I'd say, "Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter."  It irritated him for a while but he always ended up laughing with us.

Jared and Caylea hit it right off, literally.  My brother told Caylea to "punch Jared in the gut," and my memory isn't sure if it's because he wanted to show how tough Jared was or how to punch the right way or what, but Caylea hit him pretty hard and Jared cried, which made Caylea cry because she'd never intentionally hurt a fly.  Caylea remembers that vividly and if they hadn't laughed about that story (as cousins) for years, I wouldn't share it.  They were always paired up after that because they were the oldest by 3+ years and the others were "too little to do much."  I know that Jared knew how much Caylea loved him. 

We went to SeaWorld in San Antonio with him and he was not quite tall enough to ride the Kraken (not sure if I spelled that right.)  So we did what all good aunts/uncles/grandparents/parents do and stuffed napkins into his socks.  (He was literally a HAIR too short for the ride and Caylea didn't want to go without him.)  We came back to the ride and they measured him again and he made it!  The lady said, "Did you stuff tissues into your shoes?"  Jared answered without missing a beat, "No ma'am."  Ken and I laughed about that because Jared was quite the legalist when it came to his arguments.  In his then 11 year old mind, he was not lying because HE didn't stuff his shoes, WE stuffed his SOCKS, and HE didn't use tissues, WE used napkins.  He loved the ride.  There's a picture of him and Caylea on that ride somewhere that I need to find...and I've been digging out all of my pictures of him.

Jared and Chloe bonded much later in life, when they were older teens, over a shared love of all things music/guitar.  When I had my music & art academy, Jared came to visit in TN and he and the cousins all worshipped and jammed together back in 2016 or 2017.  They had a fantastic time and I am so grateful they had  that moment and their last moment doing the same thing. Chloe was 2 1/2 years younger than Jared and 2 1/2 years older than Raychel, so she was always bouncing between the two of them.  She wanted to do everything Jared and Caylea did, but sometimes she was just too little.  As teens/adults, I am so thankful they had their shared loved of music, specifically worshipping the Lord together. I know that Jared knew how much Chloe loved him.

In every picture of Joshua, if he's wearing Tommy Hilfiger (sp?), that's a hand-me-down from Jared.  Jared was a tall, thin person and so is Josh, so the hand-me-downs were much needed and appreciated.  Josh doesn't share as many memories with Jared because he was 5 years younger and usually hung out with Raychel & Hannah, but they bonded over welding later in life.  Jared was a welder.  That's how he made his living, and Josh finished welding school and was able to weld with Jared here in our garage.  If memory serves, Jared showed him a trick or two.  I am grateful they had that moment.  I know that Jared knew that Josh loved him, even if Josh wasn't (and isn't in general) as prone to saying it or displaying it.

Joe and I were able to have a lunch with just us and Jared, Morgan, and Eva back in August.  Eva shared my pizza.  We had a beautiful conversation about healing, forgiveness, and moving forward in Christ, not in the flesh; about accepting people for who they are and not thinking the worst of them when things go awry, and Joe and I know that Jared knew how much we loved him and his family.

I'm writing this for Eva.  I want her to know, when she grows up, that we loved her Daddy and that we will always love her (and Morgan as well).  

I am writing this for my family, so their memories of Jared will always be available to read.  There are so many more memories, but telling these few stories stirs up other memories.  

I am writing this for Ken and Christina and Raychel and Hannah, so they will be comforted by these memories.

I am writing this for you, reader, because it is all too evident that we never know the day or hour that we will be taken from this Earth.  Jared was 24 years old when he left us and went to be with Jesus, and Jared loved the Lord.  He struggled with some demons, but at the end of his life, everyone who knew him said that he loved the Lord and that he preached Jesus.  This isn't religion, it's relationship with the Father through the Son, with the power of the Holy Spirit.  If I can talk to you about that, please just ask.  The Lord wants all to come to a saving knowledge of him and if Jared's death can cause even one heart to turn to the Lord, there is another comfort in knowing that even in death, he had a powerful testimony.

Jared Anthony Williams, I loved you from the moment I met your precious red-headed, country boy, boot-wearing, cowboy-hat wearing self and I will miss you and your hugs. I am so glad to know that you are showing Jesus how you can play your guitar behind your back.  It is a comfort to know where you are, and I look forward to seeing you again one day.  Love, Aunt Tori