Chloe's 22!
Chloe is 22. *Blink* She's an amazing human, and here is her story...
Joe got an assignment to Korea in February of 1998 and we didn't want to stay separated for a year, so Caylea and I moved over there in June of 1998 and we lived there until March 10, 2000.
Shortly after arriving, we got our command sponsorship (where the military gives you a housing allowance and medical coverage) and found out that same week that we were going to have child #2. It's funny because when they first listened for the heartbeat, they heard 2 and told me I was having twins. For about a week that's what we thought, and then at the first ultrasound they said it was just 1 baby, but that the heartbeat had been echoing off the umbilical cord. I was pretty sick with all 3 of my children, and with Chloe I had this extreme craving for Oreos. Not even gonna lie, I ate an entire "line" or "row" of Oreos almost nightly, with a big glass of milk. I recently read that Oreos are more addictive than morphine. 🤔 I also craved the locally grown strawberries. Joe would buy them by the gallon cotainer because I would eat them like I was starving. That's why Chloe's so sweet, right? 😏
Because we lived a full hour from the hospital (up to 6 hours if Korea traffic was bad), the Air Force powers that be wanted me to move in to a hotel where they kept pregnant women who were eminently due. I had 3 yr old Caylea and they wouldn't let her come with me, so I refused to go. I went into labor once at the end of February and again on March 3rd, and both labors suddenly stopped for no reason, but I stayed dilated to 4 for 2 full weeks, which was scary because we just couldn't drop everything and get to the hospital at a moment's notice. At the end of that 2nd week of being really dilated, the docs did another sonagram and said, "This baby is going to be over 9 pounds. We have to induce," so I let them induce. I wish I hadn't because I do think Chloe needed to bake longer, but with the traffic scaring me, and because Joe's parents were visiting us and had to leave in a week, and with them telling me my body couldn't handle delivering a huge baby, I gave in. Caylea was 8 1/2 pounds and I had eaten a lot of Oreos and strawberries, so it was reasonable in my mind that I had baked another big baby. (Okay, for those of you who don't know, there is a show called "The Goldbergs" that often makes us laugh until our stomachs hurt, and the Mom, aka Momster, is always talking about how she 'baked her kids in her belly,' which is gross but also funny, so that is why I continue using the term "baked.") 😀
Chloe was born on March 10, 1999 at the same hospital where Joe was born in Seoul, Korea. The doctor that delivered Joe had retired a few years prior, so we just missed him, which is probably a good thing, to be honest. Here's the gross part about her birth story, so skip to the next paragraph if you don't want to read this...they induced me around 9 a.m. with a gentle method, and by 3 they had moved me into a private delivery room. Prior to that I was in a room with 2 other women who were also laboring, separated only by a curtain. One of those ladies was loud. I labor silently. I take all pain silently, it's just how I'm built, and any other noise when I'm in pain makes the pain worse (at least that's my body's perception), so the other lady's loud labor was incredibly aggravating to me. I say that because I think my annoyance sped things up and also because it wasn't a peaceful labor like Caylea's or Josh's. The word that comes to mind during that few hours is "agitated," because I was, and the hospital nurses were really not kind. (Both of my closest friends are nurses, so I have the gold standard by which to measure and those nurses who were there for Chloe's labor and delivery were far from that standard.) By 430 p.m. I was ready to push but was told that the doctor who was supposed to deliver Chloe was, in that moment, delivering twins and that I should "try to wait." 🤦 (No one in their right mind knows that a woman whose body is ready to deliver a baby can "wait." So dumb.) To be clear, I had natural births, so no epidural, no medications other than the initial jump-start to induce, just the standard IV drip that every hospital made you get back then. I told the nurse, "She's not waiting, get someone," and the nurse checked me, saw that I was at 9, and decided to give me something to "slow things down." I was in pain and didn't think to tell her no, didn't realize exactly what she was giving me when she said, "Muscle relaxer," but she did and it made me drowsy but didn't slow anything down. So, as the nurse ran to get any doctor, I delivered Chloe's head by myself. Y'all, that was cool and a memory I will never forget. I even helped her turn as she was coming and I was and have always been incredibly amazed at the entire pregnancy/birthing process. God reveals himself through nature and I was just so ecstatic to be able to see my child first, before anyone else. That sort of happiness is what makes women forget the pain of labor/delivery. Joe was in the room as this was happening, but he never came anywhere near the business end of any of my labors. Go ahead and laugh, but some people can see that and be fine and others can't. Well, Joe was incredibly supportive, did whatever I asked him to do, but he wasn't about to head in that direction to help out. I don't think he would've passed out, but he definitely would've been scarred for life, so I delivered her head while he was trying to get anyone to come help. At that point I made the mental decision to just deliver her myself, so I kept pushing as some random doctor came walking by, eating a sandwich (not even making this stuff up), so the nurse grabbed him, threw a scrub gown and gloves on him, and he helped me finish delivering Chloe. Because the nurse had injected me with a muscle relaxer, Chloe came out very blue, very quiet, and her first APGAR was really low. She, too, was full of muscle relaxer. They took her over to the baby station and started massaging her to get her to cry, the whole time with me telling them, "Just give her to me, I'll get her going," and they ignored my repeated requests for my child until I finally yelled (I'm not a yeller), "GIVE ME MY BABY NOW!!!" My inner momma-bear came out and I was actively trying to swing my legs out of the bed so I could stand up and get my child, but they all immediately said, "Okay, here she is," and put Chloe on my chest where I did the thing mothers do, skin-to-skin, massaging, talking, and being a mommy...and Chloe immediately cried and pinked right up. Of course, I was in my own tiny world at that point, singularly focused on my girl, and I didn't notice the room being so still. It's on video, not the yelling part, but immediately after, because Joe had picked up the camera as soon as they gave her to me. The stillness was palpable and I'm grateful for that. Chaos only moments before turned calm, and it's largely in part because, when people see God working via nature, it's amazing and His hand is undeniable.
Chloe was beautiful and perfect in every way, and she had red hair! Not bright red, but auburn, and I was amazed! Her eyes were the deepest brown, almost black, I had ever seen, and her little chin was just so pixiesh! The crazy thing? She was TINY. She was only 7 pounds 6 ounces (which I know is larger than the average baby, but when your first child is 8 1/2 pounds and they tell you this one will be over 9, you have this idea in your head...) She was so petite, so perfect, and Joe and I were so in love with our second baby girl!
I don't even care that this picture is blurry and not the most flattering. It perfectly captures our first moments, and I'm grateful Joe thought to have me put the gown back on. 😄
After feeding Chloe for the first time, having a calm environment because everyone finally left, and letting Joe hold her, we called his parents at the hotel on base and we let them and Caylea hold Chloe. Wayne said the same thing he had said with Caylea, "She's beautiful, but she's not a grandson. Now stop, two is enough!" Sun was just so enthralled with Chloe's red hair, and Caylea was 100% in love with her new baby sister. She wanted to hug me and hold Chloe at the same time, which was precious. There was never even a hint of jealousy from her, something everyone had warned me about. Caylea just took the role of "big sister" very seriously from before Chloe was even born, and I will be grateful for that for the rest of my days. She is still the best "eldest begat" we could've asked for!
We had two names chosen...Chloe & Kenzie, and the middle name was either going to be Ann after my mom or Mae after several people on both sides of our family, including myself. It didn't take long for Chloe Mae to become the name that stuck. I'm so glad. I can't even imagine her as a Kenzie, even though it's a cute name. The name Chloe Mae means "Spring-blooming Mother," and it's so appropriate given Chloe's personality and Gift with children!
Joe's parents, aka "Papaw and Mamaw," cooing and loving on and singing to Chloe in the hospital:
Because I had to share a room overnight with other people, and because I co-slept with Caylea, I chose to co-sleep with Chloe. Well, again, the nurses and doctor fought me. They wanted Chloe in her bassinet. I didn't. They told me I would do all sorts of horrible things to her in my sleep, and I told them to "just try and take this child from me," which wasn't kind but I was at the end of my rope with them. I'm sure, in hindsight, that they had seen those things happen to co-sleeping babies and I could've handled that with more grace, but 23 year old Tori wasn't very good at that. Of course, nothing bad happened. I barely slept because being a new mommy means diapers and feedings and the other babies were up when Chloe wasn't. I couldn't WAIT to leave that hospital. The next morning, prior to discharging us, the nurses had to draw some blood for tests and give Chloe her first round of shots, etc. Joe went to get the car seat ready for our return trip home. The nurses took her, telling me I "wasn't allowed," and within minutes I heard her screaming. Every mom knows her baby's cry. I practically ran down the hall, burst into the room where I wasn't supposed to be, and saw them bending her wrist at an unnatural angle to draw blood. The look I must've given them! I clearly remember holding Chloe with 3 nurses standing on the other side of the room, placating with me to calm down because I had had enough and was very clear about the complaint I was going to file. At some point the head nurse came in to figure out what was going on and she managed to calm things down by fussing at the other nurses almost as much as I had been, and then she demonstrated to the other nurses how to properly get blood from a baby. They only needed a drop, so it was just a quick prick to Chloe's foot. To this day I don't know why the others were trying to get it from a vein in her wrist except that maybe they needed the practice. Unfortunately, they chose the wrong baby to practice on. Chloe, you've heard these stories, but only now do I think you can fully understand how I must've been feeling throughout all of this because you love children, you are Gifted with them, and you can only imagine how much more a mother feels for her own child. My sole purpose was to keep you safe, no matter what anyone thought about me, and that is just part of your birth story, and part of why I'm still so protective of you to this day.
Chloe's first few moments were chaotic, but her first year was peaceful. We brought her home to a peaceful home, to a sister who adored her and wanted to hold her constantly, and we finished our time in Korea with the fondest memories to bring back to the States. I used to put Chloe in her high chair and sit her at the piano while Caylea tinkered. They would sit for up to an hour together, playing and singing. It was precious!!! She began calling Caylea, "Sissy," and it was the most adorable thing ever! Chloe would be in her pack-n-play and Caylea would sneak up and say, "Boo," which would make both of them laugh those deep baby-toddler-belly-laughs that go viral and make you laugh until you cry. That was a daily occurrence in our home and that's another memory that I will always treasure.
We flew back to the states for Chloe to meet my parents, where she quickly became known as our second "Chunky Monkey." What can I say? I was good at the whole nursing thing and so were my kids! I'm so grateful for that precious time!
She crawled at 4 months old. Yup. That was tough. She walked at 7 months old (holy-moly Batman!). She's around 6 months old in this picture, already holding on to things to help her walk. Soon after she would let go and walk on her own, prompting me to grow my first gray hair. When a 7 month old baby can WALK, it's terrifying.
She spoke her first sentence at 9 months old. I know what you're thinking. "No way," right? Well, it's on video, so there! 😝 Her first sentence was spoken while my grandmother was holding her at Christmas-time. She said, "GG, tree on," because she wanted GG (Great-Grandmother) to turn the lights of the Christmas tree on. My grandmother said, "Did your baby just tell me to turn the tree on?" Well, yes she did, so you should probably do that. 😀
We used to say, "How big is Chloe?" and she'd raise her hands and giggle. We later taught her that this pose was called, "Hallelujah hands."
Caylea feeding Chloe, one of her favorite things to do:
Chloe getting into the videos and snarling at me when I told her not to pull them off of the shelf. Also, a Nacho Libre moment:
As Chloe grew up, she never met a "new" person. Everyone, no matter their age, was her friend. Every animal, every bug, every plant...anything living was something new and exciting and something to explore. She read at a very young age and quickly became an "expert" on all things bug, which was amusing to everyone she talked to. She usually started conversations with, "Did you know..." and they usually didn't! (Also, this was pre-Google, so we bought her all of the Audubon books on bugs, birds, etc.) She collected rocks, roly-polies (pill bugs), and she loved cats, dogs, bunnies, even tarantulas! There's a picture of her holding a tarantula when she was 3. (Shudder). That aspect of her personality has never changed. She claims she's an ambivert, but only those who know her best know why that's true. Everyone else sees her as the ultimate extrovert, and she is SO GOOD with children! People have always called her "The Baby Whisperer" because she just has a Gift from God when it comes to caring for, playing with, or teaching children. I cannot wait to see how God uses her Gifts!
So many videos of them playing and singing together. Precious Memories...
As you can see in the photos above, by the time her baby brother, aka "Bubby" came along, she was a professional sister. She loved to aggravate or snuggle, and you never knew which mood you were going to get, but all of her moods were so uniquely Chloe and we have been so blessed to have her in our lives! I have to tell this story...Chloe was potty-trained by 18 months old. She just so desperately wanted to be "big" like her sister, so I took her to the store, let her pick out her own princess undies, and she determined not to pee in them because it would make the princesses sad. The mind of a child...🤷 Well, Josh was born 3 weeks before Chloe turned 2 and she pretty quickly realized that he was getting a LOT of attention, attention she was used to having all to herself, so she said, "I'm a baby too," and promptly began not using the toilet anymore. I had read about this regression in children with new infants in the house, so I said, "That's fine, Chloe. You can be a baby. Here's your diaper." She seemed really content for me to change her diaper all morning until Josh went to sleep. I laid him down for his nap and took Chloe to her bed saying, "The baby is napping, and you're a baby, so you need a nap." For the first nap of the day, she was pretty content. (She didn't sleep, but she did stay in her bed.) Josh woke up, we had lunch, and he went back to sleep, so I took Chloe back for her second nap. She wasn't very happy and I said, "Well, you're a baby and babies wear diapers and take naps." She stood up, took her diaper off, put her princess undies on and said, "I'm not a baby and I don't want a nap." (Yes, she could really speak that well...again, that's all on video.) From that moment on she didn't use diapers and she rarely napped. 😁
Chloe was a joyful child with a quick wit. She could make anyone laugh saying things like, "Mommy, I'm POP-u-lar" when I would pop her back. She had pretty severe allergies and started allergy shots when she was 5, so she became quite the expert in all things allergy at a young age. We were reading in the Bible about how the human body begins and ends "ashes to ashes and dust to dust," and she said, "I'm made of dust! I'm allergic to myself!" She was silly, made the goofiest videos you'll ever see with her brother (MAD SCIENTISTS!) and was a terrific friend. She wanted to be a vet and worked at a vet clinic from 13-16, but determined that her allergies just wouldn't allow that future, so she switched to her second loves, art & music. She learned to play piano, guitar, and drums, and she worked really hard in high school with school and with me. She helped me open a Music & Art Academy where she did the majority of the lesson planning for the Art classes, helped me with the homeschool classes, and even ran the front desk for me, all while taking online dual-enrollment classes through Liberty University. She graduated high school with 2 years of college already complete and then graduated with her Bachelor's in Music and Art when she was barely 20 years old.
During her time at Liberty University, she was a College Group Leader, which is a position that allows students to mentor other students on a personal and Biblical level. It is a tough job because the CGL is often exposed to the deepest, sometimes darkest thoughts of their peers and Chloe had to walk through some tough situations with her group while simultaneously going through the end of her own engagement. Chloe has been very open about the depression she went through following that time, but through it all she kept her "eyes to the hills; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord," and she faithfully praised God even when she couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Her faith, her strength to persevere, and her genuine, unconditional love of others are all things that we adore about her, things that we know God gifted to her, and things that have helped her keep her head held high even in difficult times. This May she will graduate with her Master's in Worship Leadership at just 22 years old, and she was recently hired at a private school in North Caroline where she will use her abilities with children, music, art, and Biblical studies/mentorship to teach. She will be the second person in our family to obtain a Master's degree, surpassing her older sister in degree-level, something she will likely rub in for years. 😛
That cute pixy-chin and those beautiful, dark eyes! 💖
Here are a few pics of her artistic/photography abilities...some of the pics were taken by my sister-in-law Christina as a collaboration of ideas between her and Chloe for Chloe's senior photo shoot. I put an * by those.
My nieces got to splatter Chloe with paint.
The thing that I want to communicate to Chloe, and to anyone reading this blog, is that God alone gives us our Gifts. God allows us to walk through both good and bad situations to strengthen our Faith and to bring Him glory. Chloe, you have walked with such Grace and dignity, and your Dad and I are so grateful to be your parents! You bring such joy into our home, and your quick-wit cracks us up on a daily basis. Your ability to be yourself is refreshingly honest and pure, and even though you think you don't have it all together yet (who does?), you are altogether wonderful and I am so grateful that God blessed me to be your mother. Your love for the Lord is evident to all around you, and your heart for worship is a balm to the souls with whom you share. You are a reflection of me, but you are so much kinder, gentler, and sweeter than me, and God knew that I needed to see that in you. He has used YOU to strengthen MY Faith, and my prayer is that you will continue to grow in strength and wisdom, and that you will continue to use your Gifts for His Glory and the delight of others. You are an amazing human and I love you more than words could ever adequately express.
And here are some extra photos just because.
This cracks me up. I sent the pic of Buddy to Chloe, and the next time she visited she did this for me...
Again, twinning with Josh...and two more friends, Kinley & Karis.
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