The First Year

We spent the first month of our marriage living in the Air Force dormitory because we had to wait on the approval to live off base. We finally got into a small 2 bedroom apartment together, with used furniture, and started playing house. I found out in August that I was pregnant. I took my DLI final exams, which are notoriously difficult, in September, amidst throwing up repeatedly. The testers even felt sorry for me and kept a trash can by my desk. One particularly gnarly old Puerto Rican laughed at me as I threw up outside into the small trash can. All I did was look at him and he got very quiet. I guess "the look" runs in our family.

I graduated and Joey put me on a plane for San Angelo, Texas, to finish my training. I had learned the langauge, now I had to learn the military aspects of my job. We knew that we could get joint spouse assignments to Fort Meade, Maryland, but we also knew that we wouldn't actually live together until Caylea was over a year old due to Joe finishing his training and then going to Korea for a year, so we were mulling over what to do. My right ligament became slightly torn during my 4th month and I went to the hospital thinking my appendix was rupturing. I saw Caylea for the first time, but still didn't know she was a girl. I was just so excited to be a mom, and still not showing because I threw up so much. I'm not exaggerating. You can ask any person who knew me while I was pregnant with any of my three children. They will tell you that I threw up for 5-6 months with no exceptions, no variations. If I ate, I puked. I also set the base typing record, 120 words per minute with 99% accuracy.
In October I went with a friend to Dallas and my Dad came to pick me up for a quick weekend visit with my family. He got there and I was dressed in a black jogging suit, short hair all crazy, covered in my friend's cat's hair, no make-up (I didn't wear a lick of it back then), and he said, "I have to go to the airport to pick up a car part." My parents own Williams' Paint, Body, and Frame Company in Daingerfield, Texas. They have owned and operated this auto body shop for over 20 years now, and back then they had NEVER EVER gone to the air port to pick up a car port. I was gullible and severely lacking in brain cells. I think I threw them all up. Anyway, we get to the air port and Dad says, "You hungry? They have hot dogs. " I was pregnant. I said yes. "Do you want onions on your hot dog?" I love onions so, yes. So, I'm covered in cat-hair and unbrushed, unkempt short military hair, and my breath is as oniony as it can get. We were sitting at the luggage claim area and I was silently watching the luggage go around and around when Joey sat next to me and said, "Hi Honey." Very nonchalantly, I replied, "Hey Babe." Then it hit me that my husband was sitting next to me and the fireworks flew. We had a great weekend, and it was enjoyable because it was only the third time my husband had been around my family! (They had come to visit us in California at our apartment in July 1995.)
In November we decided that since the military was offering "outs" for pregnancy, I would take it. I left the Air Force 10 months after joining, 1 month short of graduation from my military training. Everyone at that base tried to talk me out of it EXCEPT for my First Shirt, SMSgt Tomaskovic. He was a Christian and answered me from that perspective instead of the worldly one. I can't thank him enough for his advice.
I served 10 months in the United States Air Force, lost my MGIB benefits because I didn't serve 2 years, and every time someone asks for Veteran's to stand up, Joe grabs my hand and makes me stand. I don't feel like I did much, but I did wear the uniform very proudly, and I did thoroughly enjoy it while I was in. I was told my all of my superiors that I was making a mistake (except for my First Shirt), that I had a phenomenal ability and should stay in and just put the child in day-care, but God overwhelmingly told me to be a wife and mother first. I haven't regretted that decision one single second, and believe me, plenty of people have questioned me about it.
I went to live with my parents because now Joey had a "dependent" and had to get that set up through the base. I went to his parent's house (with mine) for Thanksgiving and there, as Joe's mom tentatively leaned her head down to my belly to talk to the baby, Caylea kicked HARD for the first time. I was around 20 weeks along, still not even showing, still wearing Joe's jeans. Remember, he was only 5 pounds heavier than me when we got married. One of my concerns was that I would outweigh him in my later months. Little did i know that he was gaining sympathy weight 2,000 miles away. :)
He came home for Christmas, then went back to California. I joined him there in January 1996. By that time I was actually showing and no longer throwing up, so Joey missed all of that yucky stuff. We had a home filled with furniture loaned to us from the base. We borrowed $1200 from my grandparents and paid it back over 5 months so we could get our first computer. I worked at a temp agency, where they didn't even know I was pregnant until a month before I delivered. I worked until a week before I was due. I also went to night school to finish my Associate's Degree, in Spanish. I had to take a physical education course to complete the degree, so the teacher made me walk, which I didn't mind. He then had to do an end of semester body fat measurement and he didn't really know how. He did all the pinching and came up with 18%. I was 8 months pregnant and had 18% body fat. I haven't been that low since. :)
My parents came to visit that week and we walked and walked and walked, hopiong to get the baby, which we had by then named Caylea Sun, to arrive early. She didn't. Her name, by the way, was Catherine Suzanne for 8 months. Joe came home one day and said, "What do you think about Camber Sun?" I said, "Camber sounds like a car part, but I like Sun since it's after your Mom." We called my mom, and, sure enough, camber is a car part. Joe then said, 'What about Caylea?" We had never heard the name Caylea, so she became Caylea Sun.
We dropped my parents off at the air port and picked Joe's mom up the next day. Caylea was due on Joe's birthday, April 17th, but that day came and went. On the 19th, around 6 pm, I was feeling pretty icky and took a long shower. As soon as I stepped out, labor hit. We got to the hospital around 9. I didn't want any drugs and I didn't say much. When I'm in pain, I get quiet and I expect you to be quiet too. Joe's mom was there, praying in the corner, and I could occasionally make out "Jesus," so I knew who she was talking to on my behalf. Kevin Oliver was there too. He was our constant buddy the entire time we were in California and a real riot. He always stole my popsicles...not out of my freezer, mind you...out of my hand. He thought it was hilarious to take ice cream from a pregnant lady, like taking candy from a baby. Anyway, around 2am I asked for half a dose of pain reliever and they gave it to me. it lasted 10 minutes. Caylea was born at 330am April 19th, 1996. The doctor was astonished. He had told me that she would be MAYBE 7 pounds. When her cone head popped out, she was a whopping 8 pounds 7 ounces. Her right shoulder wasn't moving properly. We somehow managed to sprain it during delivery, but other than that, she was PERFECT. Her brown hair was curly and her eyes were so big and expressive and almost black. Her skin was dark, and she was beautiful!
We took her home and Ken McAdams, the best man at our wedding, came to see her. He was holding her when he said, "Tori, there's RUMBLINGS!" He had no clue about babies and diapers. The funny thing is, when I was pregnant, I let him feel her moving around and he was completely grossed out. They had no intention of having children any time soon. they found out they were pregnant right after Caylea was born. :)
My parents came to visit with my Grandmother (Dad's mom, otherwise known as GG), and instantly fell in love. Caylea had projectile pooped all over my Mom. We have pictures. Joe's mom was still with us, and 2 weeks later she went home. She cried, I cried, Caylea smiled. They say babies don't smile less than 6 weeks unless they're gassy. That's not true at all. They smile because they recognize your face, and there's no amount of science that will convince me otherwise. Her first "GRIN" was directed at Kevin. He had come over ot eat with us, as usual, and made a funny face at her. She was 5 weeks old. She gave hiim the biggest ear to ear grin I had ever seen. I didn't think I could fall any harder for this baby, but that grin sealed the deal!
We celebrated our first anniversary with 6 week old Caylea, then left the following week for Texas in a U-Haul. Our first year was completely filled with separation, anxiety, and "what ifs," but God brought us through it because He brought us to it. He never gave us more than we could handle, adn we never felt overwhelmed by circumstances. I clung to James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials and tribulations of many kinds; for you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance."

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